Jen N Dave and the Tampa Adventure

May 1998

It had been 3 years since Dave and I took that bus trip to Sears to buy our first computer together. We had done a lot of new things in that time, but we were about to embark on a new era of adventure.

Over the years, we had interacted with many different adult-webmaster-types, and we even once met up with a photographer who lived near us in Baltimore. He had a model named Raven that I posed with. It was kind of awkward and I never really learned anything about that girl. It was more of a job than a party. Definitely nothing like what was about to come (no pun intended).

We had been chatting online for some time with another webgirl who I’ll just call O. She had invited us to come down to Tampa for the next house party that she and her partner Lance were hosting. We were still not sure if this girl was completely insane to invite anybody and everybody to come and meet up with her, but she had apparently done this many times before and she had somehow convinced us to give it a whirl.

So, we packed up our green ’96 Saturn SL2, dropped our dog Spot off at the vet for boarding, and we were on our way!

For some reason, I chose a hotel that was approximately 45 minutes away from her house. I can’t remember why; I think it had to do with the price, but I don’t know why I was being so cheap; We were doing pretty good with money, again. However, like every misstep, it just gave us more stories!

One of the first things we did after getting settled into the hotel, was to go to the mall. I think that might have been one of my reasons for choosing the place: There were lots of things nearby if we needed anything. The mall was right across the way from the hotel and I kinda wanted to see if I could find something new to wear to the party.

Showing off my new dress, in typical “Jen n Dave” fashion. I did not end up wearing this dress to the first party, but I wore it to the bar the second night.

One of the places I wanted to check out was Victoria’s Secret. We went in, and I found what I was looking for pretty quickly: this sheer white bra (with matching panties, of course).

Me wearing the bra and panties on our last night there, during an iFriends show. Well, having them taken off by O, of course. More photos from this show to come later in the story.

I was all ready to head for the register when a very friendly but aggressive salesgirl pounced on me. She insisted I go into the fitting room to try on the bra.

Dave asked if he could go back with me and she said, “Sure!” Six-foot Dave with a mullet halfway down his back and a big Nikon SLR camera hanging around his neck followed me back into the Victoria’s Secret fitting room. He was a sight to behold, for sure. The super secret plan behind his request was to snap a picture or two as I tried on the bra.

Well, there ended up being no pictures, because Dave was too dumbstruck to do anything. As I finished putting the bra on, the sales girl came to the door and asked if she could come in. I was a bit surprised myself, but said, “Sure?”

She begins explaining how the underwire is specially designed for… something. I can’t remember exactly what she said, because as she’s doing this, she is very lightly touching my breasts through the bra.

She then leaves the dressing room and I get dressed. We leave (after I bought the bra and panties, of course) and go back to the hotel. I remember telling Dave he should’ve taken pictures! He could only respond, “I froze! I couldn’t process what was going on!”

After having dinner, I went down to the hotel pool. It stayed open late and I love swimming at night. I love it any time of day, but it is somehow different at night. Magical, maybe? I remember feeling like I was exactly where I should be, at that moment in time.

When I finally go back up to the room, I find Dave poring over a bunch of the little brochures I had grabbed when we first arrived. He had been trying to find something we could do during the day tomorrow to pass the time until the party that night.

He suggests we go canoeing. I say, “Have you ever been canoeing?” He says, “Not really.” Neither had I but as I often do, I said, “Sure, why not?”

Looking back, that was perhaps the craziest thing we did that whole trip. We went to the place on the brochure, paid our money, and our “guide” drove us out into the wilderness. He gives us a quick 5-minute tutorial on what to do. He tells us not to worry about the gators; It’s not mating season yet, and if you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you.

Then Dave and I were pushed out into the river and we were on our way!

It was truly the most exhilarating thing we’ve ever done. I’m sure it has to do with adrenaline or something but I’ve never felt more alive than when I was scared I might die. Because, we both soon realized, “What if we accidentally bothered the gators? We could see their little eyes poking up in the water but they were staying far enough away. However, I couldn’t stop imagining one of them swimming under or too near the boat and we hit them with an oar. How do you say, “Whoopsiedoodle, I’m so sorry” to an alligator?

Actual photo of a gator we passed. “Roll you like you were dice, until you come out blue. She’s got alligator eyes…”

Everything was gorgeous, too, so as much as we tried to remain focused on rowing appropriately, we kept getting distracted by the scenery. I just went ahead and took my top off while we rowed because who was going to see?

Taking a break from rowing to pose for photos. Because, of course…

At one point, we saw what we thought was a giant crane just down the river from us. The only thing that tore my attention away from it was when I realized we were heading for an embankment with a big black snake on it, raised up and clearly saying, “I know you’re not coming over here.”

Paddle, paddle, paddle… we were full-on tripping on adrenaline at this point.

Despite the snake incident, a little further down, I spot the perfect place where I could get out and pose for a few pictures.

I take off the rest of my clothes and get out of the canoe. We got a couple of good snaps in…

A Jen in the wild…

Immediately after taking that last photo, I look over and notice that there’s another couple in a canoe coming up behind us on the river. They’re still fairly far off but obviously, photoshoot over!

I put my clothes back on, hop back in the canoe and we paddle, paddle, paddle our asses out of there.

Luckily, this was not a horror story and our guide was waiting for us on the other side, to take us back to our car. (Another concern that popped into our heads during our journey.)

We drive back to the hotel, get freshened up and it’s time to go to the party! Oh, to have the energy I had at 23. There would be no way, now. “Sorry we missed your party, we just survived the dumbest thing we’ve ever done and we are beat.”

But no, we make the drive over: There’s already several people there when we arrive, although not nearly the crowd that would soon make its way there.

Everyone is so warm and welcoming. I get complimented on the snow pics I did just a couple of months previously.

More and more people show up. There’s even a band in the dining room, I think it was, at one point. It was a true house party.

All the webgirls at the party pose for a group picture.

There is a flashing picture we took right after this “nice” one, but then I’d have to break out more damn balloons if I posted it. I’m no longer going to post naked photos of anyone that does not explicitly give me permission to do so, even if I do cover their faces. (The two exceptions, so far, are Lance and Stuntman, who yes I’m still friends with.)

One of the girls is later smoking in the garage, talking about how her boob job is still healing, so that’s why she was the only one that didn’t flash for the photo.

I did plenty, though….

After a while, my arms got tired from holding my shirt up, so these guys were nice enough to help a girl out.

Finally, though, I decided to stop being coy and just take my clothes off…

All the seats were taken…

I’m laying down here but one of my core memories from that night is when I first took off all my clothes. I was just standing there naked. It felt a little weird at first; Had I gone too far? Nobody was complaining, though, so the weirdness quickly faded away.

Then, Dave, O, and I sneak off to a back bedroom where we shoot a few pictures of me and O getting… suggestive with each other.

OK, so maybe a bit more than just suggestive.

We then rejoin the party. The band is no longer playing and there are full-fledged orgies going on in the dining room, the garage, and I think maybe the kitchen, too. We did not join in but were rather chatting with people in the living room. At one point, we decide to simulate a photo of me having sex with a guy that seemed friendly enough.

Look, I’m honest about things. If his penis was inside, I would tell you! However, he had boxer shorts on. Still, I think it made for a nice photo… fantasy and all that.

I don’t know if you can see it in my eyes or not in this photo, but after this, I was ready to go. I was just exhausted! So, as much fun as we were having, and as much fun as I’m sure still went on after we left, we decided it was time to call it a night.

I drove because I had not been drinking that night, but I got about halfway to the hotel when I asked Dave if he felt sober enough to drive, because I could barely keep my eyes open. He said he did… he had stopped drinking long enough before we left that, by the time he took over, he was OK. Certainly better off than I was.

The next day, there were plans to meet up with everyone at this beach bar for brunch the next day. It was my first experience with being “hangry.” (I mean, I had barely eaten the day before… can you blame me?)

We were having a hard time finding the group. Then we find everybody, but getting a server’s attention is impossible. I finally do and it still takes an hour for the food to come out. I was about ready to go medieval on everyone’s asses if I didn’t get some food soon! Even I was surprised at how mean I was feeling! I don’t think I’ve ever actually acted like a “Karen” but, you know, there are times when I’ve been close to losing it. :-p

I finally eat, though, and calm down. I pose for some pictures. Some beach bros lose their minds when I flash.

I don’t know why we don’t have a photo of the actual flash… but, this was right before. And after I ate; hence the pleasant look on my face.

The beach bar hangout breaks up, but we make plans to meet up at another bar in Ybor City later that night. That’s when I wore that black dress I had bought earlier in the trip. Why nobody took any pictures while were there… well, it was before digital cameras, so we had to be a little prudent with the film. (Note: Digital cameras did exist but the technology was very new and the quality was crap compared to traditional photography.)

That night, I drink way too many long island iced teas. O and I talk about our childhoods. We both broke our arms at the same age. Classic icebreaker stuff like that. I start to think I might be developing a bit of a girl crush on her. I then drop my last, only half-drunk long island iced tea, and Dave’s all like, “Jen’s pretty wasted, I should probably get her back to the hotel.” And I’m like, “No, I’m fine. We’re having a good time!”

Then we walk outside and I throw up in the bushes.

And on the side of the road halfway back.

The next day I slept in for a while. Then we went to O’s house one last time. She showed us how to do iFriends and O and I put on a little show.

Are you not entertained??

Afterward, we shot a few more pictures, including on her partner Lance’s motorcycle in the garage.

Lance actually started to feel feverish, but he posed for just one pic. :)

We say our goodbyes and the next day, Dave and I decide to do one last thing before heading home: Go to Busch Gardens.

Now it’s a business trip.

I don’t remember the rides all that much but I do remember the zoo. Seeing the alligators in their pen seemed so boring now.

I also had this amazing, and kinda disturbing, experience coming face-to-face with a gorilla. She was sitting right against the glass and I lean down to get a better look at her. I catch her eye and I feel… embarrassed. It felt so much like looking into a human’s eyes, I felt like I had invaded someone’s space. I automatically apologized and backed up.

On the way home, Dave and I discussed doing our own parties. Maybe not quite like O’s but our own version. We remarked how natural it felt for us to be open in those kinds of ways with other people. It was definitely a pivotal moment.

It led to some absolutely amazing times… and some not-so-good ones… but, that’s life. And we lived a life… or at least had a really interesting era.

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